awardweiner:

i type with no punctuation because i want to write sentences so long that people will run out of breath reading it and suffocate

(via dextonic)

urbancatfitters:

hyperbole is my favorite literary device i use it like 600 times a day

(Source: urbancatfitters, via dextonic)

  • Baby: m-m
  • Mom: mama?
  • Baby: mitochondria. it is the powerhouse of the cell

evaded:

If you wanna be my lover, please do not get with my friends.

(via dextonic)

518

bull-shipping:

bull-shipping:

bull-shipping:

what are the strongest days of the week?

saturday and sunday. the rest are weekdays.

stop unfollowing me

(Source: idjtits, via gnarly)